'He ‘wont’ let me adopt a cat because of this argument about a dog that’s not even on the agenda in the near future': Shelter cat adoption spat has 26-year-old reconsidering 6-year relationship to purrsue her dream cat amid rising tensions

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jul 23, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

This devoted cat lover has always found comfort and joy in the company of animals. Having grown up with pets, being around them feels like second nature. Now, even as an adult, she spends most of her week at her mom's house just to be near her family's furry companions. It's part of her happiness. Her boyfriend, while also raised with pets, doesn't share the same deep love for them. After six years together and three years of living together, they're facing a furry fork in the road.

She wants to adopt an adult shelter cat, a specific one she's waited six weeks for. But her boyfriend insists it's not the right time because he wants a dog "someday." There's no timeline for this imaginary pup, just a vague future bark blocking a very real purr now. She's tried reasoning, but he won't budge, leading to tension growing and full-on arguments breaking out.

Now she's torn between staying in a relationship where she feels unheard and unfairly compromised, or walking away. With the cat finally available and her partner unwilling to budge, she's wondering if it's time to stop pawsing her dreams and put herself first.

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  • 01
    'Do you let go of your dream about having a cat to make him happy?"
    via I.Wierink-van Wetten / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Ive lived with pets my entire life and absolutely adore them. They bring me joy to life, love spending time with them and being with my animals at my moms house just make me happy and feel not alone.
    via ThrowRASystemInt
  • 03
    My bf has also always lived with animals at his parents house for his entire life but he doesn't seem to care for them as much as I do, which is fine but to an extent.
    via ThrowRASystemInt
  • 04
    We have been together for over 6 years now and living together for almost 3 years. We've had multiple discussions about adopting a cat (adult no kitten) and his only argument is that 'in the future I want a dog and that's too many animals at once... He 'wont' let me adopt a cat
    via ThrowRASystemInt
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10533010944
    via Vasyl Dolmatov / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 06
    because of this argument about a dog that's not even on the agenda in the near future... | don't know what to do. I do not want to adopt a cat and then breaking up and having to return her to the shelter because at my moms house we have a cat which hates other cats.
    via ThrowRASystemInt
  • 07
    Some might say 'go visit your mom more often' which I do to the point where I am there 5 days in the week after work to go see my animals because I miss them so much. Then my bf complains that I am away so often.
    via ThrowRASystemInt
  • 08
    It has now gotten to the point where we have been having actual fights over it. I find it odd for him to not even consider the cat even though it would make me extremely happy. He feels like his argument is more valid than mine and there's no changing that.
    via ThrowRASystemInt
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10533010432
    via Africa images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    NOTE: this is a long story but there is a cat in the shelter that I have waited for 6 weeks to become available and now she has. I am scared if I wait too long she'll be gone and I will resent my bf for it. Long story why I want that specific cat.
    via ThrowRASystemInt
  • 11
    What do you do in this kind of situation? Do you just break up and adopt when I have my own appartement? Or do you let go of your dream about having a cat to make him happy?
    via ThrowRASystemInt
  • 12
    Tldr: I really want a cat but my bf doesn't. His argument is that he wants a dog in the future and a dog and a cat at the same time he finds too much. He won't change his mind even though he knows how happy animals make me.
    via ThrowRASystemInt
  • 13
    Objective-Review-... Why do his wants outweigh yours? Weird.
    via Objective-Review-359

  • It’s not fair he gets to chase his dream pet while you can’t adopt yours. Especially when your perfect cat is ready and his future dog is just a “sometime” idea hanging in the balance.

  • 14
    Noraasha Get half of a cat
    via Noraasha
  • 15
    SeaDazer Why don't you try fostering cats for your local shelter? In theory they have to go back. But, you never know, you could find one your boyfriend takes to and then keep him/her. Or Plan B, give him a cat for Christmas.
    via SeaDazer

  • Fostering sounds like a fair compromise. Maybe the cat will grow on him, and you both get to keep her. It’s a pawsitive way to test the waters without rushing decisions!

  • 16
    Iminlovewithhim3... Do you own the house or are you renting?
    via Iminlovewithhim3034
  • 17
    CarefulChapter6979 Tbh I would get my own place and adopt this cat. His argument doesn't outweigh yours and he's not willing to compromise so maybe both of you should not ne living together. Lots of couples don't and have a happy relationship.
    via CarefulChapter6979

  • Not living together could be another solution, but after three years of sharing a home, that might be a tough idea to swing, especially when emotions and routines are so intertwined.

  • 18
    Astrocities The power dynamics at play in this relationship that are what's actually frustrating you (IE he gets a dog but he doesn't want a cat so you don't get to have one is a prime example of an unfair power imbalance) are likely
    via Astrocities
  • 19
    due to the fact that when you two started dating, he was 22 and you were an 18 year old kid. Then he exhibits a level of codependency that's unhealthy in him not being able to handle you being away from the house often to visit your old pets.
    via Astrocities
  • 20
    Don't get a cat yet, because you'll definitely be breaking up and moving back into your parents' place for the time being if you know what's good for you. Going any further will likely result in an ab ive dynamic, especially if you go as far as marriage.
    via Astrocities

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boyfriend pets relationships girlfriend advice argument pawrents Cats
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